General Business

Alex and I have been spending time alternately discussing his sister in order to try and strike up a connection with her, and seeing if we can't craft a bit of the headspace into a suitable living area for he and possibly/hopefully she. He quite likes my memory of my grandparents' old place, but that comes complete with all the exact furniture and whatnot, which I tend to find a little eerie. I can't help but be somewhat worried that if he did take up residence there, the new memories would get mixed up with the old ones. But there's no real hurry at the moment, so we'll continue looking.

Night On the Town

On Monday (now why would I post these things as they actually happen?) I spent most of the day finishing an assignment and handing it in. After that I decided that was it for my bloody work-related effort for the day and skipped my tute for a trip to the city.

The daemon would like to take this moment to interject and point out that the author is a very bad person and her work ethic should not be emulated under any circumstances.

Alex turned out to be in a rather tolerant mood, and so after purchasing dinner I decided to take the opportunity to drag him around a bit of my city while he indulgently listened to my excited ramblings ("You've finally had the chance to travel, you might as well enjoy it!") and Killy pulled that lazy grin of his. Most of the movies ran too late given that I wanted to be home by eight at the latest, so we simply wandered while I conducted the scattiest tour known to man.

It turned out they had temporarily erected an absolutely enormous ferris wheel next to the river, and I figured that was entertainment enough, and forked over fifteen dollars for a ride (it was a very fancy ferris wheel; AC and all). There was an amusing moment in the line when the lady was collecting my ticket and asked if it was just me, for I very nearly replied, "What? No, I'm with him," before recalling that him didn't exactly count to the majority of the corporeal world. So, frankly, it was quite a deal, with fifteen dollars for two adults and a coyote - bargain.

And then I bought icecream with cookie dough because one should never pass up icecream with cookie dough.

All in all, a much more preferable night to slumping in uncomfortable chairs and pretending to care about my classmates poetry, don't you agree?

(Remember - very bad person.)

Homecoming Queen

Alex returned yesterday. Seems well. Also seems ready to start trying a few techniques suggested. Wish us luck.

Package for Riverside

I sent Alex a letter: "Where are you?"

He sent one back yesterday: "I'm fine."

Oh yeah, we've got this communication thing down good.

Operation: Family Reunion

A month or two ago I had the unpleasant experience of noticing a substantial amount of frustration echoing from Alex's end. As if this weren't concerning enough, some of the frustration appeared to be directed at myself, and so naturally I was anxious to understand the cause of this unhappiness and what I could do in order to alleviate it. Alex was not initially cooperative - I think he may have had some doubts regarding my ability to help, largely centred around my age - but eventually we managed to find time and, a touch grudgingly, willingness to talk.

It turned out to be largely a positive thing. As far as our relationship goes, I (like to) think it assisted in at least providing some proof that I do care, and that I am capable of seriousness when it is called for. We did also manage to locate the source of the tension.

Unfortunately, it was here that we struck a problem. If the issue had been merely boredom, the potential solutions would have been vast - options abound both inside and outside the headspace. However, what Alex missed was the one thing I did not, and do not, feel certain I can provide: his sister. It is not only her absence that he is all too conscious of, but the fact that while he is here there is no chance to do anything towards finding and helping her, and for someone as dedicated as Alex it is a position that gradually grew to near-unbearable levels, thus sparking the frustration.

For the most part, I would be more than happy to have his sister here. There are a few small worries that come up, some more selfish than others, and also the very real problem that it may turn out to be an impossibility. I do not adopt headmates to the degree of Alex frequently or easily, and not every character I connect to makes it to a potential stage, let alone a fully-fledged one.

Nonetheless, I believe we aim to try. It's hard to deny him this when I'm more than aware of just how much she means to him, so as of yet our main problem revolves around how. Discussion with friends has lead to several potential starting points, and Alex himself has abruptly become absent - I can only hope he is doing some investigation of his own, for although he is within his rights to, I must admit I'd be sad if he chose to vacate for good.

As for myself, there are a few exercises I'm going to try, namely around the headspace and the character of the sister; in a sense, trying to make the former accepting of the latter. I have not interacted with my headspace a great deal, so this exercise is clumsy at best, but hopefully will get easier as I go on.

Operation: Family Reunion is go.

Temper, Temper

Killy is a very calm daemon, at least when it comes to the outside world. I am a fairly emotional person and although I have a reputation for being adept at keeping control of my temper, the calmness I present is usually little more than a facade. I tend to release anger privately, sketching out great long novellas in my head involving everything I would like to say and do, plans drawn up for the day I might be able to let loose. And throughout my fuming, seething rage, Killy is perfectly calm. At this point in time I can think of exactly two experiences that made Killy noticably peevish; one was the unexpected and brusque physical action from a co-worker (he laid his ears back and bared his teeth), and the other was consistent advances from someone I wasn't fond of (I had to censor him for the first time in my life). But even then you would hardly label it more than irritation.

Indeed the only time he truly expresses anger is in regards to myself. I have been growled at, snapped at, and even shouted at. He has even made attempts to bite me, and although no harm can be done, the message is clear.

Some might interpret this as budding self-loathing. I, however, have a different view. Yes, Killy can frequently represent the part of me that is too hard on itself. But why should he be angry with outside issues when I can do it just fine on my own? He provides a counterbalance to my brief bursts of fury, and pushes me when I would let a private misdemeanour pass. Together, we manage to cover all the bases.

I suppose that's worth the incorporeal toothmarks.